Confessions From A Black Rose

Like the famous Britney song says "Oops I did it again". Instead of playing with someones heart I played with my own. I managed to develop a crush on someone by just talking to them. Oops! Only in my world can that happen. Anyways, I find it terribly funny. It happened a few weeks ago, the feelings are not as prominent as before so that's progress. I really do not think I will see them again so I am looking at the other fishes in the sea. EXCITING NEWS: There is another sequel to Bridget Jones in the works. This is exciting news because I always love to watch characters that are like me. Yes I am the Liberian version of Bridget Jones, pathetic but true. I AM TOO GOOD AT THIS: So Jessica Simpson and Tony broke up recently(sad because I do wish happiness for Jessica) Which made me do I told you so dance because Nick Lachey and Vanessa broke up recently as well. I remember telling people that Nick and Jessica would end up together. Now both of them are single at the same tim...

I tried to deny it and hope that the emptiness will disappear. But behind every laugh, every smile and every embrace is nothing. No real emotion at all. I did not think it was possible but I feel so alone. There is no one to turn to. No one who really understands me or no one to be my crying shoulder. I am alone in a room with a million strangers. All of them passing me by and not caring for my existence. There are moments that I stumble and hit the person next to me. For a split second it feels like they are going to help, help me escape the fall to the pit of despair. But they don't. They just brush their shoulders and leave me to drown in the emptiness of the room. I am not sure if I will ever find someone who gets me. Am I destined to be alone in a crowded room?

I had to make sure that I was in the right state of mind before I wrote this post. On Thursday afternoon the talented and beloved Michael Jackson was pronounced dead. He died from cardiac arrest. I remember where I was when the news first broke out that he was hospitalized. I was in the guest bedroom of my sister's apartment job hunting. At first I did not think it was anything serious until I found out he suffered for cardiac arrest. All my found memories of listening to Michael Jackson music came to the forefront;growing up on Remember the Time video or trying to reenact the Earth Song video. Michael was my all time favorite male performer. It still has not sunk in that he has gone but I wish his soul peace. I truly believe that his sensitive soul could not handle the wickedness of the world. All of those haters that tried to bring him down and ruin him could not touch an icon. I am sure that they had a hand in his demise but I hope that he finds peace wherever he is.

I am guilty of buying into a hook without carefully listening to the lyrics. I was so caught up on the catchy beat... oh boy. So I actually purchased "Don't Trust Me"...don't give me that look. It is misogyny at its worse. "Don't trust a ho- when will men learn? The song pretty much tells women to be quiet, blind and pretty much open their legs. How could I do this? Next time I am paying close attention to the lyrics or I could just write a follow up to that song.

A few weeks ago I had the pleasant surprise of watching Up (the new Pixar film). It was funny, touching and probably one of the best films I have seen in awhile. I did think that some of the elements addressed in the movie were quite mature for Pixar(not risque but emotional stuff). If I could recommend a movie that is in cinema I would recommend UP .

Success Train: One of my application turned at to be a success as I can now add contributing writer to my resume. I have been given the opportunity to continue to write at a higher level by the people at HangProud(an empowering website for women). It sounds like something that is completely me. I am still looking for jobs that pay and give me the opportunity to work aboard or work with kids. Words I Live By: I was asked recently what are my words that I live by. At first I really did not have an answer but then two words came to mind. GET IT! If I do something well I am getting it. If I want something( job, internship, to travel or a boy) I tell myself get it. It is words of encouragement to a friend or fellow sister. It is the words that I live by,my philosophy for life. It is empowering to think that if I put my mind to things I can get it. True Blood: The True Blood premiere was off the hook. It started right where it left off and a disappointment it was not. My favorite character b...

This song is constantly playing in my head: Step off the train I'm walking down your street again and past your door But you don't live there any more It's years since you've been there But now you've disappeared somewhere like outer space You've found some better place And I miss you - like the deserts miss the rain Could you be dead? You always were two steps ahead of everyone We'd walk behind while you would run I look up at your house And I can almost hear you shout down to me Where I always used to be And I miss you - like the deserts miss the rain And I miss you - like the deserts miss the rain Back on the train I ask why did I come again? Can I confess I've been hanging around your old address? The years have proved to offer nothing since you moved You're long gone But I can't move on And I miss you - like the deserts miss the rain And I miss you - like the deserts miss the rain And I miss you I step off the train I'm walking down your...