Confessions From A Black Rose

So a lot of things have occurred in my life since my last post. Someone really dear to me lost a loved one during the Haiti Earthquake. It was another wake up call for me on how precious and short life can be.It was also a call for action for me, a call to actual live. So i am re energized and ready to give my dreams a shot. Even if they don't come true, I can die knowing at least I tried. During the aftermath of earthquake in Haiti I did not know what to say since according to my peers I am emotionally stunted. I just tried my best to be the crying shoulder. I was able to find a really uplifting biblical verse; "Send to me your Holy Ghost with an abundance of wisdom, understanding, and knowledge that I may bring forth words capable of uplifting the souls of your people who are downtrodden and discouraged Oh God". Titus 3 On the job front, this was my first week as a volunteer for a local organization around my hometown that helps women. It has been a learning experience ...

So 2009 is officially over and I am elated. I admit that 2009 had its moments; my sister's wedding, my graduation and becoming a jersey girl were the highlights. Unfortunately 2009 brought a lot of sorrow to my life. I lost two people who were dear to me. It made me think about what life is all about and how I treat people. Now that its over I have learnt from the mistakes of yesterday and I am ready for the success of tomorrow. I believe that 2010 is going to be my year, in fact I have claimed it. I cannot predict the future but I do see great things in my life this year. I have learnt overtime that nothing goes according to plan but there is no harm in planning anyways.

It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas especially with the snow storm that is in our region. Christmas is always a magical time for me and I cannot believe it is 6days away. Man, that is so close! I got to get shopping. Since the year is coming to an end it only means one thing. The movie buff in me is ecstatic, it's award season baby! Already the Golden Globe and SAG nominations have been announced. It looks like Up in the Air, Precious, The Hurt Locker and Inglorious Basterds are in lock to be nominated for Best Pictures at the Oscars. Things are looking promising for Avatar (which i hear is supposed to be amazing) Nine and An Education also have a good shot at being nominated as well. I think that the best actor category is already locked up. I believe it will look like this: Morgan Freeman-Invictus Jeff Bridges- Crazy Heart Colin Firth- A Single Man Jeremey Renner- The Hurt Locker George Clooney- Up in The Air I recently saw the trailers for The Hurt Locker, The Messeng...

Not only is the year coming to the end but it is the end of the first decade of the 21st century. I am looking forward to all that is in store for 2010 and beyond. In the next couple of days I will be compiling top ten lists of the decade. As a huge movie buff it would not be right to not start there. Here it goes... 10.Bridget Jones Diary Renee Zellweger was in her element. It was quirky, smart and all around entertaining. Colin Firth was an absolute dream as Mark Darcy. It is not only a guilty pleasure for me but an actual good film. 9. The Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl Funny and brilliant at the same time. Johnny Depp was a complete genius in the role of Jack Sparrow 8. Finding Nemo The best film that Pixar ever made(Up is also up there-no pun intended). Hilariously charming. 7. X2: X-Men United Wolverine and the gang united to deliver the best super hero film of the 21st century. I was left wanting more(little disappointed by the third one but oh well). 6. ...

As the season begins to change and the final leaves begin to fall I sit and wonder what is in store for me. Will i finally live the life that I have always dreamed of? or will I just be a complete f--k up, living a comfortable but passionless life? There are times when I wonder what would have been if my older self could talk some sense to my younger self. What would I say to my younger self? Where do i start? Fabulous 5 Self : Never stop smiling and never diminish your light for nobody. Do not be afraid to speak up, if people do not like it they are not worth being friends with. Broken 12 year old self: : Always trust your gut and do not take any shit from anyone. Learn to love yourself because you cannot count on getting your self worth from others. In case you have not figure it out by now people suck and there is nothing you can do about it. Continue to surround yourself with positive people, they make the best friends. Do not stress the small things, things always have a way of g...

I am trying to remember the last time I spoke to you. I cannot remember. I am trying to remember the last time I heard you laugh or saw you smile. I cannot remember. Now all I want to do is pick up the phone and talk to you about everything and nothing at all but I can't. You are no longer here. It is killing me to know that I will never see you again but I am glad about all the good times we had.The time we skipped the fireworks at Islands of Adventure so we could ride The Hulk one more time. I may not understand why God took you away from me so soon.I admit that at first I was in denial and completely numb. Then I was pissed(I had skipped angry completely) but that is not what you would have wanted. In honor of your memory I will not pick a fight with God because he knows best. I love you dearly and I am sorry that we did not stay in touch, part of that was probably my fault. I love you and miss you cuz. Until we meet again, a bientot.

This year began with the anxiety of planning a wedding, joy of being surrounded by family and the drama that came from people talking too much. By the next day there was so much sadness in the house because someone dear to me had passed away. The following day was a time of happiness as I saw my older sister walk the aisle. This whole year has been filled of joy, anxiety, some drama and sadness. It was as if the first days of the years indicated how the year was going to be for me. A few days ago I had my first wake up call on how short our time on earth is. Someone really dear to me passed away and I feel that apart of me has died. I am almost on auto pilot now. But I know that they would not want that for me. We have to live each day to the fullest. I have not been living my life I have been watching life pass me by and being content standing in the sidelines. Today I am making a promise to myself that I will live my life like I was dying. The truth is humans are just dying. Each day...