What is this Feeling I'm Feeling

I'm not someone that gets emotional while watching films. All of my life films have been an escape for me from harsh realities. In a weird way they made me feel connected to the world from a distance. I was never the person who walked out of a movie cinema bawling my eyes out. Usually I experience a lot of joy from watching a good film. The subject matter did not have to be on a light topic for joy to spring from my soul, usually it was on darker matters. I can get rowdy from a really good fight scene or feel empowered by a character's actions. I can be scared out of my mind,frustrated or blissfully happy. Last night I experienced emotions that I have never felt my entire life or maybe I chose to ignore them. After watching The Social Network I had a deep respect for Andrew Garfield as an actor. I made me feel everything his character was feeling, so naturally I wanted to see his previous performances. So I had watched the trailers for Boy A and it intrigued me. I had a sickening feeling that it would be a movie that would impact me gravely but silly me wanted to see it. So I put it on top of my queue for Netflix. Yesterday it arrived in my mailbox and prepared myself for the inevitable bawling in corner of my living room floor. Within the first ten seconds I was smitten by the character Jack Burridge( played hauntingly beautiful by Andrew Garfield). He was like a little puppy that you wanted to engulf and protect from the world. He just had this innocence to him that was heartbreaking to watch. You wanted him to succeed in his new life and you wanted him to be happy. Every time he had these happy moments in the pit of your soul you knew it was all going to go to shit. When the shit hit the fan you asked yourself

why am i watching this movie? Why am I doing this to myself?

Jack's reaction to everyone knowing the truth about his identity was heart wrenching. I felt like someone punched me in the chest and I found it hard to breathe. It was like watching my son suffer and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. When the movie was over I found myself thinking about it. I went to bed and it was plagued my mind. I woke up and it was still on my mind. It is going to be a movie that will stay with me for a very long time. I hated and loved Andrew Garfield for his breathtaking performance. A part of me was upset that I was experience all these overwhelming emotions and another part of me was wondering why there are not more actors like him. The movie asked the questions is it possible for people to have second chances and do your actions really define who you are. I would post the trailer but it pretty much gives the whole movie away. So I wrote a synopsis instead and posted a clip that does not give much away. After seeing this performance I should just prepare myself for The Amazing Spiderman, its inevitable that he will make me cry. Now I am wondering if I even want to watch Never Let Me Go

Synopsis: Jack Burridge committed a horrendous crime as a child. He is released from prison under the guidance of a social worker named Terry. He starts a new life full of friendship and love but there is the threat that everyone in his new life will learn the truth about his identity.