Confessions From A Black Rose

After a harsh winter, I find myself in the midst of spring. I have planted seeds and I await for them to come to bloom. The unforgiving winter winds and blistering cold may be long gone but they whisper on my breath. Now as I await my summer I wonder if my winter was as bad as I believed it to be. In the darkness I watch the sun rise and set. All alone I wonder if today will be the first day of summer. Along this journey I have experienced detours and roadblocks. At times there were paths that disappeared from my horizon. Sometimes I wonder if I only dreamed of them. Call it stupidity or call it optimism, I have complete faith that all the fruits of my labor will come to light. It is the wait that causes me grief. Waiting for the indication that the winds have changed and my season has arrived. The season of the midnight sun. The season where butterflies fly during the day and fireflies light the skies at night. I am ready for the summer of my life. One thing I do know is that ...

When I was a senior in college I wrote a letter to my future daughter  for a class. Even though there were certain topics that I was supposed to address my letter was organic and heartfelt. As I look at the world around me I have no doubt in my mind that I will raise a strong independent female. She will be encourage to be honest, opinionated and a little warrior.  I know that things will never be easy for her but I am confident that I will give her a great foundation to handle all the punches. With each moment I get concerned for the welfare of my unborn son. What kind of man will he be? Will he know that being vulnerable is not a sign of weakness? Will he know that being caring does not make him less of a men? Will he know that sadness is apart of life and it is okay to express that emotion? Will he have no space for hate in his heart? Will he be able to play with dolls without people questioning his sexuality? Will he be a man the brings people up inst...

Throughout the 2012 General Elections in the United States, one question plagued my mind-when did being a liberal become such a bad thing? When did Republican and Christian become synonymous? I  also want to state that being a Democrat is not the same thing as being a liberal. Sorry that was a little side-note. Back to the topic-Liberal almost had the same connotation as being a communist during the Cold War. In high school terms it like being the known virgin or the slut. There is talk about liberals having a vendetta to corrupt the minds of the youth.  When conservatives think about liberals they think of people that lack moral restraint. For someone who considers themselves to be a moderate, I found this to be furthest from the truth.  Let's take a history trip shall we. If it was not for those damn liberals, France would never have had their revolution. If it was not for those damn liberals, slavery would not have been abolished. If it was not f...

A little over three years ago I decided to join Twitter. I had been hearing about it and  I decided to check it out. A place where you get updates from your favorite celebrities and up to date news briefs, c'mon its a no brainer   Don't get it twisted I have enjoyed my three years with Twitter but there seems to be a humongous flaw with this particular social media. Twitter seems to breed assholes and trolls  who we love to call cyber-bullies. What is it about being behind our computer that allows us to write every single idiotic thought that crosses our mind. It is if there is no filter and no thought about how their words affect a second party. Sometimes I think people just say things to evoke a reaction. I have read death threats, racial slurs, homophobic outbursts and misogynistic comments. It really does leave a bad taste in your mouth. Here are few cases asshole syndrome on Twitter this past year. 1. Kelly Cl...

First of all, I am  not too sure what this post will be about. When I blog it is usually about issues that piss me off, videos that make me laugh or to share my art. There are several thoughts floating in my head but none seem executed enough for a full blog post. I can inform you that in the next couple of weeks I will post my first video log, my second installment in the War on Women series and my spring TV wrap up. Now lets see what will happen if I just write as a process of healing. What wonders will I discover? Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly. Lanston Hughes The older I get the more I realize how much I know and how much more I have yet to learn. This fact does not bother me anymore because I know that besides life being one daring adventure it is also a test, a live performance, the final event. You get no dress rehearsals, no practice exams and absolutely no warm ups. This life is all that you get an...

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere"  Martin Luther King Jr  On February 26, a 17 year old boy by name of Trayvon Martin was shot in the chest on his way home from buying a bag of skittles and iced tea for his younger brother. He was killed by a neighborhood watch member by the name of George Zimmerman who was twice his size,convinced that Trayvon was up to no good or on drugs.  When the police arrived Zimmerman told them that he acted in self defense. The police took his word and no arrest was made nor did they administer drug and alcohol test to Zimmerman. Over a month later it appears that not all was what it seemed on that fateful February night. The more information that was released the more that the pieces did not fit anymore. There is evidence that suggest at least one witness statements was altered. This has lead people to question the conduct of the Sanford police in the shooting investigation. It is learned that Zimmerman ...

This week marks the beginning of Women's History Month . Which is an opportune time to discuss the ongoing war on women across the globe. So all of my posts this month will be relating to different facets in the war against women. As you can tell by my post title, I want to discuss the reproductive rights of women first, actually more the lack of rights. Being a feminist during an election year it becomes harder and harder to find a woman's candidate. There are too many people who are in office who do not have women's best interest in mind. The fact that the Blunt amendment was up for a vote this week is an extremely alarming reality. Under this legislation any corporation can deny coverage to any type of health service based on religious or moral objections.The chances of anyone objecting to Viagra will be slim. The chances of objections to birth control pills will be high. As you know the aspirin between the legs technique is making a comeback...

Hate knows that love is the cure A video came to my attention today, video posted by two teenage girls from Gainesville, Florida. It reminded me of a video I had watched  a few months ago about a college student's rant on her Asian classmates. I never thought anything could be more offensive; clearly I was wrong and naive. In this video which has gone viral, these two girls go on a rant about how much they hate black people. When I say hate I mean that in every sense of the word. Being a black female this video offended me on so many levels. There are some thoughts that should never be spoken out loud. In fact this entire video should have never been posted. Who in their right mind would post a video that insults an entire group of people? It is not like they are talking about people who only wear yellow but  specifically about Black Americans. Claiming that all they do is cash in their welfare checks and use food stamps. I was screaming inside my...

Everywhere I go there seems to be a new social network or a new electronic popping up with promises of delivering news faster and keeping you more in touch with friends or in most cases strangers. What I realized with every new iPhone or new update on Facebook is we are getting further apart from each other. We are  no longer able to connect with people on an emotional level but only on a superficial one. Call me old fashion but I miss the days of long  hand written letters and phone calls being made from the home phone. I miss the days when people's lives were not put on full display one click away. I miss they days when people used to call you to check on you instead of sending you texts. There is only so much you can write in a text. I long for the days when you life was not over if you were disconnected from the internet for an hour. People are never in the now. It is one big show of look how fabulous my life is. If it...

There are only four days left in the year and I feel like I have lived a thousand lives this year. When the year began I believed that this year will be the year things worked in my favor. Now that the year is ending I realized that I went through hell and somehow I am still breathing. At first I believed that  a part of me died during the storms but I have come to realize that I evolved, most for the better and some for the worst. During my journey of getting through 2011 I learnt more about myself, life and others than I cared to learn. I soon realized that in order to survive in this big bad world you need to love yourself completely. When that happens everything falls into place. You have to love all of your flaws and that way no one can bring your down. When you love yourself you will be able to stand by your opinions, your actions and trust your judgement. The second guessing will disappear and the fear of being seen as the bad guy, bitch or the asshole will vanish as well....

I guess this is a continuation from my previous post but even-though it follows the same train of thoughts the anger has dwindle a bit. Over the past three years I have experienced ten lifetimes. I have laughed and I have cried but throughout the storm of it all I have grown stronger. What I know for sure is that life is a beautiful twisted adventure. Just because something is beautiful does not mean it won't hurt or be tumultuous.It is during the dark hours you really come to appreciate the luminous ones.  It is the recovery from the pain that makes it so fascinating. This adventure is one that we all must partake alone. We will meet friends and strangers along the way. All will influence the journey in both positive and negative ways. Even though we might want them to come with us they are not the ones walking the path, we are. Some will encourage you to go the distance and others might attempt to sabotage your route . Now more than ev...

Nothing gets my blood boiling and heart pounding than people telling me what to do.  I am not talking about orders or directions that your boss or teacher may give you. I am talking about people trying to dictate what I should do with my life because they know what is best. I am talking about people who try to make you feel bad about the decisions you make because it is not the "right" thing to do, according to them. Everyone has an opinion about how I should live my life and luckily for me they have no qualms in sharing it with me . Well opinions are like assholes, everyone has them but some are full of more shit than others. Honestly, I do not care what you have say. Nobody asked you! Life is a journey and everyone has their own path to take. When you are spending time looking at someone else path you stumble on your own. So do me a favor and stick to your own path. We are born alone and we die alone, so mind your own damn business .

Earlier today I was thinking that I have nothing to blog about. I was a bit sad because I wanted to blog but there was no inspiration. Nothing for me to bitch about, nothing for me to go all crazy about.   Luckily today was the day that New York Senate would be voting to pass the legalisation to legalize same-sex marriages. Without any warning I read that New York had approved the bill with a 33 to 29 vote while I was on Twitter. My big heart full of unicorns and rainbows combusted over the news. Of course, at the this time it was not a finalized deal but I was already doing a victory dance full of fist pumps. New York state is now the sixth state where gay and lesbian couples can get married. That also makes New York the largest state where this is possible. Not bad for a state I was born in and went to school in. This may come a shock to you but same-sex marriage is a hot topic in the United States today. There are Americans who believe strongly that marriage ...

control lies in the balance point between rage and serenity. Professor X We are all born with great power. Some choose to fan the flames while others choose to hose them down. If you do choose to hose your power please reconsider. The world will be a far more better place with people who feed their beast within. If you can find the balance between your rage and your serenity you can accomplish all you seek in life. That is just some food for thought. I was recently told that I am not as strong as I think I am. That I am nothing but an ice cube that melts in the sun. At the moment rage consumed my body and all I could hear were the words echoing in my ears. I felt a tiny rose thorn puncture my heart as my joy bleed from my body. It took me awhile to figure out why I was so affected by that one comment. It has been days and that comment is haunting me. Maybe it is because my strength is what keeps me going. If I was not a strong person, I would not be able to deal with all that life th...

I am not going to lie, life after graduation has been difficult. There have been detours, u-turns, speed bumps pretty much everything you can imagine along the road of success. The more successful my peers got the more nervous I got about my situation. I keep on asking the universe what in the world is wrong with me? Why do you keep on testing me? It got to a point where I was a few setbacks away from drinking myself into stupor. Then I got to thinking, why I am looking at other people's roads? It is just taking my focus from the path I am destined to take. Are things going slower for me than I would like them to? Hell yes! But that is all part of my adventure, my journey. There are many people who have similar or worse situations to mine and I see them just giving up. Their outlook on their situation is just full of negative vibes. If you want good things to happen to you, you have to envision them and create a system of attack on how they will come into being. It is the law of a...

I came across something really disturbing while I was browsing http://feministing.com/ . Last week at a McDonald's in Baltimore a young Transwoman(22 years old) was beaten into a seizure by two teenage girls(14 and 18 years old). This all happened because she went to use the ladies restroom. The disgusting thing about the attack is that there were good amount of employees at the McDonald's that could have stopped the whole attack. They all set back and watched the attack take place. One actually filmed the whole thing and did absolutely nothing. The only thing he did was tell the girls to leave and that the cops were on the way once the woman went into a seizure. Did anyone come to the girls rescue? Actually two people, God bless their souls did. The manager and another customer came to the aid of the young woman. The manager was the one he repeatedly had to pull the girls off the woman. Now this attack was not once, they kept on coming back to hit her. There were a...

Five black girls enter a club, scratch that five black girls can't even enter a club. Does this sound problematic to you? Does this sound like a beginning of a joke? I wish it was a joke but I learnt last Friday that even in the 21st century shit like this still happen. I'm not going to lie when things like this happen it hurts and it is completely confusing. I was in a state of shock but the more I thought about it the more pissed off I got.  Even as I sit down to write the blog post my mind is going in a different direction. It does not like being in a state of negativity, so it is taking me a  longer time to write than if I were to write about my increasing love for Alphabeat or how I party hard on t umblr . I think this is an important topic so I am going to continuing to write about it even if it takes me all night. On Friday evening my older sister arranged for a group of her friends to go to Covet , a  lounge in midtown Manhattan. I arrived early and waited in t...

I really don't have much power or much influence over people. Anyways here I am hoping that a few souls will read what I am about to write. Hopefully some minds will be enlighten or others may be completely turned off. Knowing myself I will probably hold back because I like to represent myself properly and it can't be done with vulgar language or without much thought. Honestly I am not that angry I just want to express my thoughts in a safe space. It really is kind of ballsy that is why its getting the Angry Black Woman label. So there is concern that the US government will shutdown on Friday. The funniest thing is they are having difficulty coming up with a budget, a budget . They do not want to compromise. Others refuse to budge in attempts to hurt the current administration. You( all elected officials) were elected to represent the people. I know that there are politicians who do not like President Obama. I know that . And they are hell bent on doing damage to everythi...

This morning I began to listen to Tina Turner's classic "We Don't Need Another Hero" and my paradigm began to shift.I got my mojo back and therefore you lucky devils a blog post. My heart has been heavy over the last few weeks. I could never pinpoint the exact cause for my heavy heart but there would always be a trigger to my crying soul. It could be a comment here or an action there. A real disgust to how insensitive, selfish and evil man could be. There were so many thoughts running through my mind and different emotions that were flying high. Yet I could not formulate all of this energy into words. It maybe 2010 but I feel like we are back in the 1960's on an eve of a revolution. My mind is flooded with memories from the past where people with African ancestry were hosed down by a fire hose and attacked by police dogs for demanding to be treated as equals. The graphic image of a young man using the American flag as a weapon during the anti-busing rally in Bost...